Monday, October 27, 2014

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

It's been a long time since I last visited my own blog, and a lot of major things such as graduation, relocation and employment have happened to me since. But what actually compelled me to pick it up again is an interesting thought that I want to share tonight.

As the despair of a cold Monday morning gradually turned into acceptance of two months of all-work-and-no-play, I looked back at the three trips that I made in the month gone by, which not only elongated my perception of a vacation, but also recreated some precious memories.

Go Goa Gone!

The first of these trips was to Goa. I had been to Goa before, but this was a triply special trip. My two month internship at Goa was the reason behind the most beautiful summer of my life. So I was glad that I could revisit the place. What was extraordinary was the fact that I went there for a friend's bachelorette, with girlfriends I have known since we hadn't even touched double digits. An all-girls bachelorette trip with school friends is stuff movie such as "Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara" are made of, and it happened for us, complete with the melodrama of the movie! And it wasn't even the spookiest part. Ten years ago, when slam books were a thing, I had put this as my dream tour in my brother's book, something we discovered after the trip happened. Dreams do come true, it seems.

So there we were, 20-something women acting and feeling like gushy high-schoolers. The activities and conversation were in the same vein, just the setting was different. Instead of first crushes, it was about sasurals. Instead of philosofying near the kids' swimming pool, we were contemplating the waves on a beach. The high pitched renditions of Dil Chahta Hai were made in a car rented for a road trip and not on Ladybird cycles. Though a lot of credit for coordinating this trip went to Whatsapp and other social apps, it was the determination of a bunch of girls to make Goa happen that proved that there are some friendships that time and distance couldn't touch.

Home Sweet Home

I've lived away from home for 5 years, and made several trips home from hostel. But this one, from Pune to sadi Dilli, was different. Having interned in Delhi for 6 months, living conveniently at home, the rebellious streak of college had disappeared and one can safely say that I had become spoiled for comfort and unconditional love. My departure from Delhi was marked with the dramatic realization that I was going to get out of the safe cocoon of family and friends that I had become so accustomed to. Close friends arriving at my doorstep with chocolate cake to bid me goodbye didn't really help with the emotion. And at the end of the day, Delhi is Delhi!

So when I went home from Pune after two long months of living independently, adjusting with others, managing groceries and utilities and worst of all, handling maids, it was with a lot of confidence, that comes with living on your own, and relief, that there is still beauty and peace in the world. (Someone told me that this relief of going back to home goes on till you have kids coming to your home, relieved that there's beauty and peace in the world.) Moreover, there was deep admiration and heartfelt respect for my parents for managing the mundane things of life and making it enjoyable for us. 

So much was different, but it was still the same. At home, it was perfectly okay to prefer Bang Bang over Haider, it was okay to break a fast if mutton biryani is around, and even 10 years later, my brother and I ended up being the only kids our age in parties. Our lives may change by leaps and bounds, but the only thing constant would be the endearing familiarity of home. Our experiences could only make this more valuable.

Ghar se Dur Wali Diwali

The icing on the cake was a trip to Bengaluru to celebrate Diwali with my brother. A lot of fuss had been made about #GharWaliDiwali this year, but it was not an option for many, including me and my brother. But that didn't deter us from celebrating. We reconnected with relatives we hadn't met in years, met nieces and cousins for the first time, and celebrated Bhai Dooj over a chocolate that we had somehow forgotten to eat. 

I also met a couple of college friends. I realized that college life is a rush of events and incidents, most of which will fade from your memory as time passes. But you don't need them to bond with your true friends. I guess what I am trying to say is that I was glad that I went to Bangalore, and had an unconventional Diwali.

Which brings me to the thought that compelled me to write again today. Some relationships in our lives provide a stability that is otherwise not present. They may be your school friends or old college friends. Your memories with them will always be cherished, but you need to show up to recreate those memories in your new circumstances to sustain those friendships. They may be your family, but you need to let your new experiences teach you how truly valuable they are. Change is good, but if you play it well, some important things will stay the same.

In the same string of thought, I decided to revisit my blog, and refresh it with new perspectives and experiences. And so must you, for any thing that is close to your heart and provides stability to your life, make an effort to enhance your old memories and passions with your new situations. That is the only way of sustaining anything that is good.